Before we talk about the best way to deal with anger, let’s talk about the worst way to deal with anger: letting anger control you. Anger is an intense (sometimes overwhelming) emotion that can take over if we’re not mindful of it. Some people struggle with anger issues and have a difficult time controlling their tempers. In this instance, intervention is needed. How do you know if anger is controlling you rather than you having the upper hand? Let’s talk about anger management!
When anger is out of control, it can result in explosive behavior. Whether that’s yelling, taking your feelings out on others by using profanity or insults, breaking or destroying objects or even getting into physical altercations with people. None of these behaviors are healthy, but some of them can result in legal repercussions. When you’re physically hurting another human being, you can get in trouble with the law.
The government can mandate people to take anger management courses to get control over their emotions. Before it gets to this critical point, take control of your anger by seeking the help of a therapist, whether that’s in person or pursuing online anger management. Both of these tracks are valid ways to learn how to cope with anger in a healthy way, rather than hurting yourself or others.
Underneath anger, there can be a lot of different emotions. People who struggle with anger are sometimes depressed. They might appear like they are coping well with their life but secretly they are struggling with depression.
Setting boundaries with yourself will help you learn to control your anger. Learning to manage anger means being aware of when your emotions are beginning to rise. Mindfulness is a proven technique that can help us with many different emotions, including anger. You can notice your feelings, feel them, and then choose how to respond. There’s a difference between responding and reacting when it comes to anger especially. When you respond, it’s a thoughtful process, you are thinking about what you want to do. When you react, it’s an impulsive response, which isn’t necessarily helpful in the situation.
When you find yourself getting angry because of something upsetting someone said to you, take a moment and breathe. If you need to, walk away from the situation. You can simply say to that person, “I need to take a minute to calm down. I don’t want to say something hurtful and I’m getting angry.” That’s an honest way to communicate to the person that you are feeling heated and you don’t want to take that out on them.
Be aware of when anger is coming up for you, and use some grounding techniques to help de-escalate your intense feelings. Don’t ignore anger or try to push it down or repress it. Accept that you are feeling angry and then choose how to respond to it. Anger doesn’t have to control you. Learn how to accept your feelings and express anger in a healthy way with the help of a mental health professional.
If you would like to learn how to incorporate more mindfulness into your life, book an appointment with Dr. Corina Kibsey, ND today.
Image courtesy of:Peter Forster
If you find anger has been affecting your relationship, online couples counselling can help. Find out more here.
About the author:
Marie Miguel has been a writing and research expert for nearly a decade, covering a variety of health- related topics. Currently, she is contributing to the expansion and growth of a free online mental health resource with BetterHelp.com. With an interest and dedication to addressing stigmas associated with mental health, she continues to specifically target subjects related to anxiety and depression.